Delicate

The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear. RUMI.

Hello 👋 it’s been almost 5 weeks… I’m popping on to reconnect and give an update but I’ll be taking another break shortly.

The time away from social media has been exactly what I needed. I have focused my attention on myself and my family. I felt a compulsion to mute the busy distractions of the online world and noticed a number of different responses inside when I did this. The initial reaction was discomfort and agitation… I was confronted with my life – raw and unfiltered. I found myself repeatedly looking for the apps in the early days. That impulse has eased recently and now I find myself more comfortable with the silences. The gaps where I am not entertained, busy, distracted, numbing. I feel more connected and awake… but I am also more aware of the dark corners. I am finding myself in these spaces and that brings up a whole host of different aspects of my self and my life that need attention.

My therapy has been intense. I am beginning to explore some core wounds that I never even uncovered with Anna. I am in the thick of attachment work. All of my parts are forming a deep connection with Mark and the transference is proving to be a fertile ground for our work. It feels delicate and intimate and very healing and deserving of space and patience and time.

I hope the start of this new year has been kind to all who have read this and that it continues to bring hope and light 💕

13 thoughts on “Delicate

  1. LovingSummer

    So good to hear you’re doing well and that it was absolutely the right decision for you and your family.
    Doesn’t mean you’re not missed though! Especially as you’re going through some transference stuff, but I totally get that you said it’s personal and intimate, so I understand and am so glad for you you’re in such a good place.
    What a fabulously start to the year! And long may it continue for you 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks LS. I’ve missed hearing how you and the other bloggers have been but I’ve needed to really slow everything down. You’ve been in my mind frequently though.

      Yeah the transference stuff is intense and I’m so glad I’m working with an expert that knows what he’s doing unlike Linda 🙈 I’m realising more and more that she just didn’t know how to deal with my stuff… but Marks handling it beautifully. And I’ve really thrown a lot at him! Sending love to you 🙈

      Liked by 2 people

      1. LovingSummer

        I bet you have! And I bet he has too. I can well imagine how the two of you are so good at working through it all, whatever it is.
        I’m glad we’ve been in your mind because you are in ours too, or at least, I speak for myself. And I think of Amber too, who is sounding in a very similar position to you. You both may not be around like you used to but you’re certainly not forgotten.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw I’d love to hear from you RB, any time! Thank you! It’s def been what j needed and I think I’m gonna head off again. I just don’t have the capacity right now for anything more than a very simple life. No idea what it’s about but slowing down and limiting stimulation seems to help 💕

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  2. Hi Lucy! I have looked for you every day. My therapist mentioned you just the other day… the connection I had found with you in your blog. I told her that you have been gone for a break and I wasn’t sure whether you would be back and that I understand whatever your decision is. I told her that you found a great therapist and are doing intense work… and that I am happy for you even though I miss you. It is good to know you are doing well… which translates into: I am glad your connection with Mark is strong and therapy is going well for you. You were missed!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Claire Louise

      I’ve missed you Lucy. I am glad you got the r’n’r that you needed. I was also thinking of emailing to see how you were but wanted to give you your space. The sessions with Mark are poles apart with the sessions with Linda aren’t they!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aw Claire, thank you! Absolutely like night and day – the difference between Mark and Linda… tempted to send Linda the recordings of the sessions so she can hear what real in depth therapy sounds like! lol

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