On the 4th of May I was reminded by my WordPress account that I started this blog and insta page a year ago on that date.
It made me reflect a lot on the journey I’ve been on. Not just the past year that I’ve shared but I also looked back on the past two and a half years with Anna. I read over some session notes I made since the first meeting we had. I then looked at notes I made from sessions with my first therapist which started in Feb 2013. It made me reflect even further back to my teen years when I started looking into self help off the back of a very brief interaction with a child psychologist.
My life has changed beyond recognition since then. And even in the past 12 months things have changed so much. My daily life is different, my mental health has improved. My self awareness has grown. My needs are different. But also… it made me wonder what I’m looking for… and what do I get here that I could be getting in my ‘real life’ if this wasn’t here. My avoidant tendencies quite enjoy the anonymous intimacy of the page but I could do with pushing myself to step outside the comfort zone a bit with the people I live with… namely my husband.
I’m considering taking a step back from the social media side of my therapy journey for a while. I’ve been thinking about these plates Anna is always talking about that I’m spinning and the gears Linda encouraged me to move down. My life is busy and somewhat stressful and very full. And the people in front of me need my full attention when often I am pulled by the bright lights and neat little squares of Instagram. I’m curious to see what happens when I take away the distraction and self medication of the screen. I’ll probably still keep my private pages going though I might take a break from that as well. In the past when I’ve had a digital detox, only good things came from it. I’m feeling the need for another.
I know there are a number of people who talk to me regularly on my Instagram page so I’ll give notice before I make any decisions to disable the account but I guess I’m just sharing my thoughts here. I think my family would benefit from me spending less time online and quite possibly I would too!